1. Collect a substantial amount of makeup. The amount of makeup that you believe you will need to achieve the look of having no makeup on will be far less than what is actually required. Find a video tutorial on how to apply no-makeup makeup by going to any social media website and looking for it there.2. Invest in a magnifying mirror that has a minimum of 15 times the normal magnification."An exhilarating, funny, frightening, mind-warping, and heart-wrenching tale. Confronting the brutal truth of your skin at this age will be frightening, but you are a middle-aged woman, and lately, you seem to delight in brutal truth to the degree that it is becoming uncomfortable for those around you."At the speed of light, it was told. A must read."On behalf of all humankind"—Jon Scieszka3. Apply some concealer under your eyes because you look like a panda if pandas had a permanent angry expression on their face. Make sure that you moisturize your skin before applying concealer; if you don't moisturize, the concealer will get into your wrinkles, and you'll end up looking like a lizard. There are now so many different kinds of animals that you have to make an effort to avoid looking like them.
1. Apply a "primer" to the surface
2. Redness, sallowness, and splotchiness can all be addressed with specific primers
3. You are going to need all three
5. Oh no
6. You're experiencing one of those hot flashes
7. You must now begin again from the beginning
8. Remove everything with water, perform steps 1–4, and then return to the video
10. Gregory from work is trying to get in touch with you
11. You have already received emails and texts from him
12. In his defense, you are supposed to be leading a gathering right now
14. Use an eyeliner and shadow duo that is the same shade as your skin (do not question the logic behind this), just like the lady does in the video for mature women (who is nowhere near your age; she is 33)
15. Do not question the logic behind this
16. The "chubby stick" versions of the product function well and are easier to manipulate for people with arthritic hands (this is not a comment on your weight, so please calm down)
18. Make an effort to understand what is meant by the term "tubing mascara
19. "Give up and apply it anyway, to whichever eyelashes you still have
20. It won't make a difference
9. Use a product with a silly name to fill in your eyebrows, and don't bother to do it neatly. If you still worship a god, say a prayer that the trend of having bushy brows will end soon. In the meantime, I would appreciate it if you could refrain from criticizing the young women who have caterpillars on top of their eyes. Do you think it's possible that you're harboring resentment because, when you were their age, you plucked yours down to nothing, and then they never came back?10. Uh-oh. Your husband has just entered the room, and he is making fun of the makeup video featuring no makeup. It is necessary to take his life. After he has passed away, proceed to step 11.11. Use the shimmer stick to cover any areas of your face that still have an aged appearance. You can apply it to your lips, eyelids, cheekbones, and other areas. There are even some women who use shimmer sticks to highlight the tops of their breasts, but this is not something that we would recommend for you to do.(The top of each of your breasts is probably no longer distinguishable.)12.
You are done. You have spent a significant amount of time, effort, money, and makeup to achieve the appearance of having no makeup on at all. Your savings have taken a hit, you've been tardy to the point where you could be fired from your job, and you've just killed your husband. The most important thing is that you don't look like you spent too much time on your appearance. Nice work.